Top Ten Strictest Weed Laws Worldwide

Singapore

You really won’t want to be smoking pot in Singapore. I have not been there myself, yet. But friends that have visited really love the city. However, marijuana is a big huge No No. If you get caught with as little as 1 ounce of pot you can be put to death. That’s right folks. Death! Imagine an upstanding business man with no criminal record whatsoever getting pinched with a bit of recreational weed in his mansion and gets put to death. Nice huh? Strict is the word that best describes the Misuse of Drugs Act in Singapore.

Simply smoking a joint will land you in a Singapore prison for a quick 10 year sentence. Plus you get at least a $20,000 fine. If you are even remotely thought to be dealing or selling weed you get the good old fashion Mandatory Death Sentence. It baffles the mind, especially when buying sex on the streets is fine. Well, that’s against the law too. However, $10 bucks will get you a hand job from a minor. But no one seems to think that’s immoral. As Jim Morrison once said, “People Are Strange”.

France

Bonjour mes amis! I was tres surprised to learn that France had such a harsh stance against cannabis. In most other aspects France is a very tolerant and modern country. And its the least strict in our Top Ten Strictest Weed Laws Worldwide. They love to dance and drink wine all day. Burlesque shows line the Seine and the Champ Elyses. Topless girls and day time drinking are fine but don’t light up a joint or your only view of the Eiffel Tower will be from your jail cell. Ironically, everyone smokes cigarettes, everyone. I walked by the outdoor cafes and literally every teenager chain smokes. I found that to be incredibly peculiar.

One very unique element to French laws is that they do not differentiate between possession and trafficking. So possession can land you a hefty jail sentence. Possessing a small amount of weed can land you in jail for a year and a $1,000 Euros. Larger amounts, especially if dealing is obvious will get you a 10 year sentence to a life time in the slammer. So much for Gay Paris. Hop a train to Spain and smoke legally. Adieu!

The Philippines

The Philippines is a very friendly and a beautiful country. There are endless islands to explore. Gorgeous woman to meet. The food is the best in the world. And the weed is pretty bad ass as well. But beware my little island hoppers. The herbs can land you in one of Earth’s scariest prisons for a long time. Surprisingly tolerant of just about everything, it simply is not the case with pot. Also surprising is the fact that they are relatively lenient on first time offenders. However, that depends on the judge. Get a good judge on a good day you might get a slap on the hand, which means a 6 month sentence. Get the Judge that feels like making an example out of you and you could get the standard 12 year long haul.

It should be noted that these laws apply to the indigenous folk. They live there and they have no money. You don’t live there and you have money. Need I say more? But what about possession with intent to distribute? Now that’s an island coconut you won’t want to swallow. So, if you buy, say an ounce, make sure its in one bag. 10 little baggies will get you a sentence for dealing marijuana. The sentence does have some leeway. You either get a life sentence or the death penalty. You can read the particulars in the Dangerous Drugs Act of 2002.

South Korea

This is a strange country culturally for sure, like most countries. They have many bizarre sexual traditions. They even have a Penis Park, no kidding. Its the plastic surgery capitol of the world. What’s that tell you? Either way, its a great place to visit. And they must be smoking. They use more cosmetics than anywhere else in the world. Even the men do. And they eat well. No fat people, obesity is not an issue. Take a note America.

You will want to visit this fascinating place. And you’re going to want to go in Gangnam Style. But you will need to be discreet. If that’s not Kimchi in your pipe you can get in big trouble. Even having marijuana in your blood stream when getting off the plane is a crime punishable by 6 months in prison. Wow. Although, as a visitor you should be alright. But they like to randomly test their own citizens upon return. This all seems strange given the fact they are a top Hemp producing country. Now once again, its a different world over there. You might want to consider taking a break from the weed if you’re only visiting for a week or two just to be on the safe side.

Japan

We may as well pay a visit to Japan while we’re here in Asia. Japan is one of the most flourishing modern countries in the world. However, their marijuana laws are as ancient as the kimono you will want to strip off your Geisha Girl. And that is legal. This is yet another culture with very strange sexual hang ups and fetishes. Even better if you’re stoned. But walk softly on that bamboo flooring or you might end up in a very unhappy place.

Japan is a must see country. Where else can you buy used women’s panties right on a street corner out of a vending machine? That is true folks. Please, I urge you to go Google it right now. Oh, you already did. Told Ya. And Tokyo is a blast. Theres over 33 million people in the city alone. They do smoke pot. But it is very hush hush. And you definitely do not want to get caught. You would be better off committing Hari Kari than sitting in a Japanese prison. There’s a reason they have Kamikazes. Death is better.

If you get caught with marijuana in Japan you will be filleted quicker than a salmon sashimi. First time offenders go straight to jail for a minimum of 5 years. And its expensive. It costs 60 Euros for one gram. So its really not worth the risk unless you have friends in the Yakuza. These laws apply to Japanese people alone. A visitor faces much harsher fines. You can expect to die in a Japanese prison. And you will die alone. Because you get mandatory solitary confinement. Sayonara Japan!

United Arab Emirates

Arab nations are very anti-drug, unless of course they are doing them themselves. As in most totalitarian regimes the rulers are above the law. But they love to impose strict laws and horrific punishments on their own people. The UAE is a Draconian society that rules with mandatory sentences that leave very little leeway for circumstance or real evidence.

A visitor with even the smallest crumbs in their backpack will receive a minimum four year sentence. Recently a British woman was found to have 0.003 grams of marijuana in the bottom of a bag and was thrown into an Arab prison for four years without a trial. So if you head off to Dubai to gamble in a luxury casino you might actually be gambling on your freedom, or your very life.

They can arrest you without cause and take your blood without consent. Even a small trace amount of marijuana in your bloodstream is considered possession. That’s a minimum of four years and quite often more. If they deem you to be selling marijuana you will be put to death. That’s right folks, mandatory death sentence. You might want to consider a trip to Las Vegas. It’s better to lose your money on the slots there than lose your head in a public square in the UAE.

Turkey

I like my Turkey with mashed potatoes and gravy. I also like the country. But not the strict laws or a few of their odd cultural norms. You won’t want to get caught with ganja here, that is for sure. If you have ever seen “Midnight Express” you already know what I mean. If you haven’t, I strongly suggest you watch it before planning your little weekend get away to Ankara. Turkey is one of the oldest countries in the world. Sadly so are their laws. If you get caught with weed you are going to have an unpleasant time.

The lawmakers are generally Koran biased men that really don’t like fun. They don’t seem to like women either. Women have little to no rights. They can’t even go to the supermarket without adhering to very strict clothing laws. And even though they are so obviously all gay, don’t be gay in public. If you’re found to be a homosexual it’s lights out. So just imagine their view on marijuana use. I guess I won’t be going to turkey anytime soon. I am gay. And I like wearing women’s clothing and I smoke the doobage on a daily, if not hourly basis. So I think I will just stay home and play with my dolls.

Possession will get you up to 24 years in a prison run by prisoners. That sounds fun And if you’re caught dealing the minimum mandatory sentence is 10 years. A foreigner would likely face a life sentence. So, you’d probably learn to gobble gobble gobble in Turkey.

Saudi Arabia

Two words – ” Don’t Go!” Saudi law makers do not fool around. If you like weed you will want to simply avoid this country all together. You can not even drink alcohol. There are no bars or liquor stores in the entire country. That ought to be an indication enough to let you understand what will happen to you if they find drugs on you.

This is one backward ass country. They do not recognize basic human rights. Women can not even drive a car. They average one public execution every other day. Nice place huh? And you want to try and smoke a joint there? Good luck with that. It’ s OK to rape your friends underage daughter or have sex with your camel. But God forbid you want the benefits of cannabis.

The law is called Tazir. This is a strict Islamic based law. And they do not fool around. The judge can impose any punishment he sees fit. And they love to punish in the name of Mohammed. The best you could hope for is deportation. However, you’re much more likely to receive decapitation. Another favorite sentence is a public flogging. The kids love that one, its great fun. They sell meat and popcorn and the whole family gets free entertainment.

If you try to sell marijuana you get one of three special punishments, beheading, death by fire squad or hanging. Either way you’d be better off dead than rotting away in an Arab prison. Praise be to Allah. No wonder they’re so eager to blow themselves up.

North Korea

This one ought to be self explanatory. Little Rocket man does not allow his people to do anything but worship him. The truth is no one even knows what the laws are concerning cannabis or any other drug laws for that matter. The truth is their leader thinks he is a God. He does what he wants including killing his own family members. So, I think its safe to assume if you were caught with marijuana you would pray for a quick death. My guess is that Korea is probably number one in our Top Ten Strictest Weed Laws Worldwide.

China

Its no ancient Chinese secret that if you are caught bringing marijuana in or out of China you will be severely punished. Do not dishonor the Empire or you will face a harsh penalty. This could even mean being put to death. Its better to just enjoy your egg fu yung. The Chinese government has not only ignored rulings by the United Nations they flaunt it. Public executions on National Anti Drug Day are wildly popular. Families come out to watch dozens of people being killed at one time. And this is without a fair trial. Very scary.

So should you choose to Enter The Dragon and visit China make sure you aren’t chasing the Dragon or it could lead to your demise. Its like Confucius once said, “Man who fart in Church must sit in pew.” In other words if you make your bed you will be sleeping in it, eternally. There are at least 50 reported killings weekly in China. So imagine the real numbers when you include the drug users that don’t make it into the local news. The government claims public killings are the best deterrent to marijuana and drug use. However, drug use is on the rise. Better to grab your chop sticks and head down to your local Chinese restaurant and avoid visiting China if you smoke. The only high you can enjoy in China is the view atop Mt. Everest.

We hope you enjoyed today’s Top Ten Strictest Weed Laws Worldwide.

Be safe my fellow travellers!